The Kallah is Queen: A guide to the bride's prayers and blessings and why she fasts on her wedding day



The Kallah is Queen
Fasting
For the kallah and the chatan, their wedding day is considered their own "personal" Yom Kippur; a way of "cleaning the slate", of "starting fresh" and of beginning a whole new life together as a married couple.  This is one of the reasons why many couples fast on their wedding day. 


In general, the couple usually fasts from sunrise to sunset on the day of their wedding.  As the chuppah is usually held after sunset (she'keah), some couples fast until after the chuppah and break their fast together in the Yichud room. Many times, the chuppah is held much later than stated on the invitation and  some couples choose to break their fast just after she'keah on something light (such as a glass of water, juice, etc) and then have a light meal in the yichud room together.  All I can say is that eating something is better than having a bride faint either during the chuppah or even in the yehud room. 
In order to decide what is "best for you as a couple"; think about how well you fast, the time schedule for the wedding and how strongly you feel about this minhag.


The Kallah Chair
For the bride, the time spent before the Bedeken and the chuppah, when the bride is seated on a specially decorated Kallah Chair, her own throne, is a very special time.  This is a time when her friends and family surround her and entertain her with music and dance. I have seen kallot surrounded by their friends as they sing to her in a private section of the Hall; while other brides are the center of attention – literally – seated in the middle of the Hall, with guests surrounding her on all sides. 


As these are all minhagim, the 'where', 'how' and 'on what' you sit is a matter of personal custom, preference and choice (and, of course, any physical limitations of the venue).  Some Halls have a specially designed chair or couch, usually covered in a white silk material.  If you are planning to sit on a kallah chair, then you should find out in advance whether the venue has a "special" chair, see how it looks and whether you would like to further decorate this chair.
Blessings and Prayers

The pre-chuppah time is also a very special time for the kallah and her blessings and prayers has special significance. 

It is said that on the day of the wedding, the gates of Shamayim (Heaven) are open to the kallah's prayers and entreaties and to grant her requests. 


Many brides will recite a special Bride's Prayer as they sit enthroned in their Kallah Chair.  There are many versions of this prayer; you can find an English-language translation of one version at the end of this article.  As this is only a tradition, the kallah can recite any prayer she wishes and feels comfortable with. 
Bride's Prayer on Kotel Background
Bride's Prayer on background of picture of couple
Traditionally, the friends of the bride will give her a Bride's Prayer as a present either at the Hall or in her home.  The Bride's Prayer can be found in a variety of versions and shapes, including in the form of a painting, drawing, card or even hand-written on a tambourine or a chamsa-shaped board.  The prayer can be personalized to include the names of the bride and groom or a general prayer.  The tambourine (called in Hebrew Tof Miriam or Miriam's drum) is a very popular object on which a Bride's Prayer is written.
Bride's prayer on tambourine
The connection between women and the Tof or drum or as it is called today tambourine (timbrel), is found in the Torah, Sh'mot 15, 20-21, "…Miriam the Prophetess, sister of Aharon, took a tambourine and all the women followed her with tambourines and dancing and they sang praises to Hashem…"  This happened after Hashem safely allowed the Jews to cross the Yom Suf (after Y'te'at Mitzrayim); while the Egyptians, who chased after them, were drown as the seas joined together again.  Just as an added point of interest, any mention of song in the Torah is connected to praise of Hashem after a miracle or redemptive action.


There is also a custom for unmarried friends and relatives of the kallah to ask her for a bracha for their own happiness.  Once again, she is free to recite any formula she wishes.  As each person in turn greets the kallah as she sits on her Kallah Chair, she can pray for and personally bless each person. In addition, many brides pray for the sick and the injured and even carry a list of their names with them down the aisle.
You can purchase all my bridal, mother of the bride and mother of the grooms prayers EXCLUSIVELY on Fiverr! https://www.fiverr.com/yochieisner
Do you have questions about a Jewish wedding, its customs, traditions and practices?  Please feel free to contact me today!

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